You Can't Take Without Giving

Recently, I joined a forum for writers to discuss the craft and learn about different aspects of the publishing/writing world.  Once you have a certain number of posts, you can share work that you have written to have other writers give you brutally honest feedback. 

As I got close to the required number of posts, I got excited at the prospect of having something I'm working on critiqued so I have a better feel for whether or not it's good quality writing. Then, as if she knew that I was looking forward to this milestone, another board member told me that it would be advantageous for me to critique the work of others before jumping to share mine.

At first, I was slightly offended that she felt the need to tell me this. After all, I had been trying to spend part of my time looking at others' work and offering feedback.  I wasn't expecting to instantly receive critique with nothing in return.  As I scanned through other posts on the board, it became clear to me that this has been an issue in the past on this board and I felt confident that it wasn't a jab at me.

As I laid in bed last night, I realized how this situation can be adjusted to fit many scenarios in life.  We live in a very self-centered world, everyone looking out for themselves. We expect others to do something for us without thinking about whether there is something we could do for the other person.

I have been guilty of this in the past, just as much as anyone. From now on, I am going to work on thinking of what I can do for those who do something for me without them asking a favor.  And when I do something for someone else, I no longer want to keep a mental tally of what I've done for them. Doing so isn't helping us to serve in love, it is still self-service veiled behind helping someone out.